Dean, there IS a future, you are doing all the right things to get a good future, not the empty one with John and the ranch that you think you're stuck in. But you poor sweet boy that you can't see what a future looks like where you are happy.
Its that same feeling from yesterday where he didn't want to have an opinion about Kate until he knew what was happening because he didn't want to be disappointed. He can't think about the future because if it doesn't happen he'll be devastated.
it's exactly that feeling from yesterday, and it's not fair that Dean can more easily picture a bad ending than a happy one. today and yesterday were originally one chapter for just that reason. in some ways, his conversation with Bobby leads him to feel more stuck. all that talk of finance reminds Dean that he's got nothing without John and it's always been set up to be that way, that controlling his finances means controlling his life. and so he feels helpless and thinks he will let fate push him wherever it wills, and just try to take as much from the now as he can (but he will make his own stand soon - so soon)
"With every day that he fell deeper for Cas, he turned a corner. Further from the safety net of the familiar. Further from the pretense of predictability."
yeah yeah yeah !! i just picture him making his way out of a labyrinth with cas as his guide. for so long he lived at the center of the labyrinth, not knowing he was trapped there, not knowing what lies beyond. then someone from the outside showed up, found him there, and said "hey things don't have to be like this. there's more out there." and dean's been slowly moving out of the labyrinth with cas. and some of the twists and turns are scary and unpredictable, but every experience is brand new too, and it's exhilarating. and he's so so close to making it out now! and maybe it's the fact that he's so close that he's starting to get these worries and negative feelings. like, "maybe it's safer in the maze. maybe we don't need to leave here. if i leave i don't think i'll ever be able to get back to the center. and well, the center wasn't all bad. except for when it was. but i knew how to handle that. and i don't know what's out /there/." etc etc
the cage he is in is familiar. even if the door is swinging wide open, all he can see are the bars. and Cas, who in his own life has embraced "just leave! just walk away no one will actually stop you. and any direction you pick, I'll go with you and you won't be alone" has been leaving like this trail of breadcrumbs or this thread to follow out of the labyrinth
Oh Baby, you sexy, sexy beard.
Dean, there IS a future, you are doing all the right things to get a good future, not the empty one with John and the ranch that you think you're stuck in. But you poor sweet boy that you can't see what a future looks like where you are happy.
Its that same feeling from yesterday where he didn't want to have an opinion about Kate until he knew what was happening because he didn't want to be disappointed. He can't think about the future because if it doesn't happen he'll be devastated.
it's exactly that feeling from yesterday, and it's not fair that Dean can more easily picture a bad ending than a happy one. today and yesterday were originally one chapter for just that reason. in some ways, his conversation with Bobby leads him to feel more stuck. all that talk of finance reminds Dean that he's got nothing without John and it's always been set up to be that way, that controlling his finances means controlling his life. and so he feels helpless and thinks he will let fate push him wherever it wills, and just try to take as much from the now as he can (but he will make his own stand soon - so soon)
“They would last as long as their subterfuge did” how dare you
I know, I know, but we are in Dean's head here and that's just how he sees it
"With every day that he fell deeper for Cas, he turned a corner. Further from the safety net of the familiar. Further from the pretense of predictability."
yeah yeah yeah !! i just picture him making his way out of a labyrinth with cas as his guide. for so long he lived at the center of the labyrinth, not knowing he was trapped there, not knowing what lies beyond. then someone from the outside showed up, found him there, and said "hey things don't have to be like this. there's more out there." and dean's been slowly moving out of the labyrinth with cas. and some of the twists and turns are scary and unpredictable, but every experience is brand new too, and it's exhilarating. and he's so so close to making it out now! and maybe it's the fact that he's so close that he's starting to get these worries and negative feelings. like, "maybe it's safer in the maze. maybe we don't need to leave here. if i leave i don't think i'll ever be able to get back to the center. and well, the center wasn't all bad. except for when it was. but i knew how to handle that. and i don't know what's out /there/." etc etc
the cage he is in is familiar. even if the door is swinging wide open, all he can see are the bars. and Cas, who in his own life has embraced "just leave! just walk away no one will actually stop you. and any direction you pick, I'll go with you and you won't be alone" has been leaving like this trail of breadcrumbs or this thread to follow out of the labyrinth